I Kinda Sorta Made a Bomb

I have a cold. I bought Emergen-C powder (100% of your vitamin needs in a handy-dandy little packet). I don't like the taste. I decided to mix it with my Diet Mountain Dew. I was unaware of any fizzy properties contained in the Emergen-C powder. I was in a rush to get to Evidence. I was thirsty in class. I took out the Mountain Dew and added the powder, under my desk, thinking I was being incognito. The drink began to overflow. I did not panic, I thought this was merely a small explosion that could be contained without too much hassle. Then it started making fizzy noises and the overflow escalated to an untenable degree. The professor stopped the class and asked, "what is that noise?" I muttered an expletive under my breath and told him I accidently made some sort of mountain dew-related bomb. He looked at me weird. I went to the bathroom to get towels. Came back. Got called on to do the next case.

End of story.

Halfway

I can measure my frustration by the lack of miles on my car. I'm in a city now where I lived as a child, a small child. I can still remember the halfway points between home and church, home and Mamaw's house, home and school, home and the doctor's office. I would always keep a watch for that halfway point. Usually it was just a bend in the road or a particular tree but that's where I decided "halfway" belonged. And I would picture the car driving up some hill to that point, and then coasting down to the desired destination.

I do the same thing in New Orleans. There's a halfway point between home and the Quarter, home and church, home and Lebanon's (by bike or car...different halfways), home and the bookstore in Mandeville, home and Audobon Park. I used to drive over to Elizabeth's on the West Bank for no good reason other than to feel the halfway point on the bridge. I'd drive over and back again to see the city at night. I miss that drive.

I have only one halfway point now, a patch of grass on the highway, between Mamaw's house and school. I drive around a lot, killing time, but I have no destination. In New Orleans I always had a place to go, to get to, to drive to and then turn around. Here, it's just an aimless meandering. Killing time. That's all I do.

Evidently y'all don't like my heels...

Due to an almost unanimous vote I will be wearing my brown sneakers with pink socks tomorrow. I must admit, however, that I have an engagement in the morning that requires me to dress in conservative heels. I hope this disappoints no one. I was so sad my pretty green heels got NO votes...

And this week's poll? How well do you know me? Well enough to know my middle name? We shall see...

Stupid, Ridiculous, and Fabulous Things I Have Done in the Past 2.5 Months Due to Boredom

1. Baked a cake
2. Drove to Memphis and parked outside Graceland for 5 minutes, drove back
3. Went to school
4. Went on dates with lunatics who cry at dinner
5. Permed my hair
6. Painted each nail (fingers and toes) alternating patterns of stripes and dots
7. Became addicted to America's Next Top Model
8. Cried
9. Joined Weight Watchers (lost 12 lbs so far...hell yes)
10. Ate no less than 200 olives
11. Bought a coloring book
12. Made celebrity boyfriend trading cards
13. Went to movies alone, brought banana chips
14. Discovered the surprisingly tasty combination of strawberry yogurt and fig newtons
15. Picked up a stray dog, played with it for two or three hours, bought it a chew toy, took it to the Humane Society
16. Read the newspaper
17. Watched Wheel of Fortune with Mamaw
18. Climbed Pinnacle Mountain
19. Counted freckles on right arm (89...but I stopped halfway)
20. Plucked off half my right eyebrow (not on purpose...just got carried away)
21. Tried to teach myself how to cross my eyes
22. Planned worldwide tour of places I've never been (Quebec City-->Capital of Iceland that I can't spell-->Luxembourg-->Vilnius, Lithuania-->Sarajevo-->Athens-->Venice-->Cairo-->Nairobi-->Addis Ababa-->Johannesburg-->Sydney-->Kuala Lumpur-->Tokyo-->Los Angeles)
23. Almost bought a ticket to Seattle. Just kinda felt like going there.
24. Tried to do a headstand.
25. Mixed together three lipstick shades, found perfection.

We Have A Winner!

After an intense run-off between Kurt Vonnegut and Henry Miller, it appears that Miller has clinched the title of "Next Book Rachel Will Read" by a mere vote. That's right, folks, one measly click of a mouse. Don't you feel powerful? You are designing my reading experience. With a single motion of your finger you are telling me what to do. Wow. It must be rather daunting, to have that sort of control over a human being.

And now you get to decide what shoes I will wear on Saturday! Those of you who know me well can understand how large a burden I am placing on your shoulders. I am offering up a vital part of my self-expression for your molding. May the force be with you.

The Cutest Thing in Life

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/zoo/ex_panda_station.html

Oh mercy, I want a pet baby panda.

Poemetry

A little blip I wrote after I saw my apartment in New Orleans:

The heat of this place leaves nothing to be wished for. Ever. Hopes float like lead in air that cannot be broken with rain.
And I will not pass this way again.
Not this crack, not this bend with these shoes with this blister against this passion punch painted toe nail. Ever.
I will walk, perhaps. Or skip as I do on some morning when the trees are moving. But I will be faster, maybe, or I’ll be sick and fevered and slow.
I will pass this way again
but not this way. Not this method of motion.
I thought that I should document it, set down for posterity the way my body made its way along this way this morning.
But it’s evening now, and the way is gone, the move is gone. It floated away.