Give the Telemarketer a Break, A Smiley Break

A friend of mine mentioned a common woe this morning: the telemarketer. Specifically, the ridiculous task of spelling things to a telemarketer (whose English probably isn't topnotch anyway). B-as-in-boy, E-as-in-Edward, etc., etc. And I got to thinking, those poor little telemarketers probably hear "E-as-in-Edward" at least thirty times a day. And as it is my duty to bring smiles to the downtrodden I have assembled the following list of lesser-used and ever-happy words for just this dilemma. So spell your heart out and give a telemarketer the giggles.

A as in Ahoy
B as in Bootylicious
C as in Cootie
D as in Diggity
E as in Effervescent (don't laugh, expand your vocab, people!)
F as in Funkadelic
G as in Goober
H as in Heebeejeebee
I as in Igloo
J as in Jazzercise
K as in Knight (pronounced in the Holy Grail fashion)
L as in Lollipop
M as in Mahhhhvelous
N as in Naughty
O as in OPP (yeah you know me)
P as in Porcupine
Q as in Quest
R as in Rachelerific
S as in Sassy
T as in Tumbleweed
U as in Unmentionables
V as in VaVaVaVoom
W as in Woooo-Doggy
X as in X-Men (Wolverine is hot)
Y as in Yam
Z as in Zebediah

See, these are smiley words. Not boring words like "Edward" or "Boy."

Boredom

Last night, after a lovely meal with Daniel (good company, freaky African food that tasted kinda like a liquified tortilla) I came home to experience that hallmark of summer living: soul-crushing boredom. I did some immigration work, flipped through the channels twice, instant messaged a couple folks, and called it quits when I found I had been staring at a fly's fight with my window shade for about 6 minutes.

What do you do when you're bored? I'm a horrible bored person. I get cranky. Very cranky. And I talk to inanimate objects. And I doodle. And I alphabetize things. Last night I alphabetized the plates in my cupboard by color. This seems especially OCD to me so I rearranged them this morning. I don't want too much evidence of my insanity lying about.

Whenever I'm bored I make up silly lyrics to the tune of Camp Town Races. Yup.

The Question that Haunts Me

MY NEW ORANGE BATHROOM aka HOLY CRAP I'M SHOWERING IN A GIANT ORANGE TIC-TAC

Alright, this picture was taken with my camera phone so don't laugh.

BUT ISN'T IT FABULOUS????

Yes, that is a fuzzy orange toilet seat cover. Mwahahahahaha.

I Have Nothing of Value to Report, but Master Blaster Kinda Perks Me Up

I think the decision to have a full time AND a part-time job was ill-advised, at best. Who advised me? Whoever advised me: you are no longer on my good side.

So.

Um.

What's up?

Okay, Daniel sent me this picture and because it is bizarre and ridiculous I will post it. Daniel is my new friend. He's crazynutsbonkers about this girl who wears cowboy hats. I am being supportive of this endeavor. And in showing my support I will post this picture and quietly mock Daniel's myspace attachment.