I fell down my stairs last night. Nothing serious, but I caught most of my weight with my left wrist. It was really sore this morning, especially when I moved it. I have one of those ace bandage things because I'm accident-prone (and that's putting it nicely) so I figured if I wore it today it would feel better. This is background for the following pseudo-conversation:
Brilliant Man on Street: What happened to your arm, dahling?
Me: I fell down my stairs.
BMOS: (laughs) Why'd you do that?
Me: 'Dunno.
Now, this appears to be a pretty normal conversation. Nothing crazy. The insanity actually occured in the 10-15 seconds following my elaborate "dunno" as the Inner Moi That Always Thinks Of Witty Retorts 10-15 Seconds After They Are Needed came up with this lovely diatribe:
Inner Moi: Because I like hurting myself. Because I need to pay off this law school debt and a tort action seemed like a clever, and ironic, solution. Because my left wrist has a death wish. Because I'm tired of being pale and figured a nice bruise would liven things up a bit. Because it's easier than fallin up the stairs. Because I was hungry and I thought pain would distract me. Because I was privately protesting the war in Iraq. Because I was chasing the little white rabbit. Because it was faster than walking. Because I was bored. Because those stairs deserved a beating. Because my left wrist had been bad that day.
I know that there is no such thing as a "stupid question" but if a normal question is used by a stupid person...same difference.
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