1. These damn caterpillars. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM? One got caught INSIDE my skirt last night and I didn't notice until I was in my kitchen and felt red darts of fire against my thigh. Luckily I was alone as I just hopped around screaming for thirty seconds or so while trying to rip off my skirt. The little evildoer landed on my foot and I now have a four-pronged square of pain that looks kinda like a hickey, kinda like stigmata.
2. Styrofoam.
3. My complete inability to exit the front door without getting my skirt caught in it. It's not that tough, Rachel. Open the door wider, wear skirts that aren't so long. You're a grad student, surely you have the brain power to not fall down your steps every other day.
4. The freckle at the top of my forehead. It looks like someone took a sharpie and made a big black dot just below my hairline.
5. Condensation on the outside of plastic cups.
6. George W. Bush
7. The lack of Ethiopian food in the New Orleans area. I need to eat ethnic food with my fingers several times a year, people.
8. The amount of money in my bank account. Or, should I say, the complete lack of money in my bank account. I flipped a coin this morning to see whether I would go out to lunch with my roomie or buy groceries for the weekend. I flipped it twice because the "groceries" (tails) won. Why did I even flip the coin? Wasted a couple seconds of my life on that one.
9. Small, yippy dogs. Why can't everyone just have a REAL dog, complete with full-bodied bark and muddy paws? If I am attacked by one more manicured chihuahua at Audobon I will not be responsible for my actions.
10. My friends are leaving town. I'm gearing up for loneliness.
Sorry, compadres. I'm in a low mood today and decided to complain. As most of you know that this is not in my nature, I expect a plethora of emails sending virtual hugs and "snap out of it"s. Flowers would be cool, too. And chocolate. And if someone wants to volunteer to pay off my loans I'd really appreciate it.
2 comments:
This is your cousin that calls at odd times of the day. I'm at home and I need $209 to go to Smilefest, a bluegrass festival. Yes, I am aware that this is not a "real" type of poverty. But, I've decided to give you a few get rich quick schemes:
1. Lottery tickets. No, its not a guranteed way of making money. But if you or a buddy has a strong sense of intuition, it can go relatively well.
2. Sell your plasma. Yes, this is what homeless people do. But its totally worth it. Not to mention you're only one beer away from totally forgetting your financial status for the rest of the day.
3. Stripping and/or Prostitution
--Katie
11. Failed attempts contacting Richard.
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